Oh the Questions...

I have a LOT of questions.

In the past two months (woah….where has the time gone?!), I have learned more than I ever thought possible about this place: about manners (eating with your hands is not only allowed, but is proper), hospitality (one must always drink tea or coffee), politics, injustice, sustainability, religion, interfaith, US culture, language, family, relationships….I have learned SO. MUCH.

And yet it seems that with everything I learn or discover, I have another dozen questions. Initially, I was baffled and a bit frustrated by this, because when seeking information, one does not expect or necessarily desire umpteen more questions—I want concrete answers!  However, my curiosity is piqued and I have become a question asker; in many ways I feel like a two year old with all of my questions:

·         What does (insert Arabic word here) mean?
·         Why does….?
·         Where can I find…?
·         How long have you…?

These are a few beginnings of my most-used phrases! In the midst of my questions, I’m discovering that my degrees in Religion and Environmental Studies, my 18 years of dance training and 6 years of teaching experience, my 5 summers at camp, all my leadership training, my passion for youth ministry, my love of music….most of that really doesn’t matter here. It matters in the sense that all of this has shaped who I am and has allowed me to develop my intellect, faith, passion for people, and love of this world, but all of it really isn’t relevant…I don’t even have the vocabulary to tell people about these parts of my life! Instead, I am left with my curious heart and insatiable desire to learn and discover more about this place. I find myself frustrated at the rampant injustices that are present here; I am saddened by the lack of grace that is extended to neighbors; I am humbled by the hospitality that abounds here, even when resources are limited. While I am still searching for what I can do here....I do know that I am very good at asking questions:

·         Why do we build walls?
·         How can one treat his or her fellow human beings with such little regard for their humanity?
·         When will this conflict end?
·         Why is it that these beautiful people have to suffer at the hands of injustice?
·         When will the world start paying attention and intervene on behalf of these people?
·         Is peace possible?
·         What can I or any other person do to help?
·         How much longer can the world live like this before a change comes?
·         Why are we afraid of differences?

SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!  Some of these are directly applicable to this place and situation; others are general questions of the human population…trust me, there are countless more inquiries and perplexing issues dwelling in my brain.

I’ve come to realize that through my learning, I am discovering what questions to ask. I am learning who to ask and am beginning to seek proper opportunities to pose my queries.

So I’m learning to live into the questions. In a world that prides itself on answers, this is certainly a challenge, but it is one that I embrace willingly and eagerly as I seek to understand and make discoveries that will lead to more questions.

“Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.” -Rainer Maria Rilke